If You Want Me
by emo-geek-87
Summary: Fives times a guy in New Directions kissed Mercedes and the one time one of them made love to her.


**Title:** If You Want Me  
**Author:** emo_chick_87  
**Pairing,Character(s):** Finn/Mercedes brief mentions of Mercedes/Kurt, Mercedes/Matt, Mercedes/Puck  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Word Count:** 3894  
**Spoilers:** Season 1  
**Genre:** Angst/Romance  
**Warnings:** unprotected het sex between two 17 year olds and talk of past child abuse.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee.  
**Summary:** Fives times a guy in New Directions kissed Mercedes and the one time one of them made love to her.

.

She was six years old and waiting for her dad to pick her up. As the sun slipped behind her, she realized that he had forgotten her again. Two boys were chasing each other through the sand and over the rickety wood of the play structure. She sat watching them from across the park on the swing set. They were the only three people in the entire world at that moment. The sun started to paint the sky pink and tears started to fill Mercedes' eyes.

The bigger boy was fumbling with his _Power Rangers _backpack by the benches. The small one was letting his short legs swing wildly off the edge of the slide. Mercedes tried to keep her sniffles to herself but the wind carried them. The little boy's brow furrowed and his lips pursed as he jumped off the slide.

She doesn't notice that that boy is in front of her until his small hand rest on top of hers, the one that is holding the metal chain of the swing hard enough to leave marks on her palm. She looks at him for a minute before she remembers that she isn't supposed to touch boys that looked like him. She yanks her hand out from under his warm fingers and stumbles back towards the edge of the sandbox. His eyes look hurt but he lets go of her hand.

The fact he isn't chasing her doesn't stop her from running. Her awkward backwards steps are hard on the thick sand. She loses her footing and falls back. Her head ricochets off the warm sand and her teeth come down in shock against her bottom lip. The thin metallic liquid fills her mouth with a familiar taste. She stays on the ground as her quiet sniffles turn into full out sobs. Her hiccuping breath seems to scare the kid in front of her. He hasn't moved from the spot by the swing. She turns to look at him and she can practically feel the minute he sees her lip.

He crouches down beside her, wraps his thin white fingers around hers and leans in close. His nose bumps against her cheek at first but soon his lips rest right against the small cut on her bottom lip. He is gentle and he is warm all over. Mercedes forgets all about the throbbing pain or the fact that her dad forgot about her.

It's over really quickly but she knows it happened. When she finally opens her eyes, she sees the other boy standing in front of them. He has two juice boxes and a pack of generic goldfish crackers sticking out of the pockets of his coveralls. The warm boy still has his fingers locked around hers. They stay like that for a long time. Until Mercedes hears the familiar squeal of tires in the parking lot. Her hand trails behind her as she runs towards her dad's car. As she's leaving, she hears the boy's voice for the first time.

"Noah, my new friend hurt her lip. So I kissed it all better like my mommy taught me."

Her dad yells at her for getting sand in her hair and dirt on her pink tights. The pulse in her lip helps her forget about the yelling.

Mercedes is pretty sure he doesn't remember but Finn Hudson was her first kiss.

.

The second time someone kisses her on the lips, she's sixteen. Her and Kurt have been friends for almost six months when it happens. They quickly fell into the love that they had. Six months in and Mercedes already knew she would know Kurt Hummel for the rest of her life.

Their parting has always come with a one-armed hug and a kiss on each others cheek. This was a day like any other. She was headed to AP English Lit and he was headed to Spanish with Mr. Schue. His strong arm draped over her shoulder like it had a million times before. His sweet smelling breath played across her cheek like always.

But then the Cheerios flounced by and one of them called Kurt a fag under her breath. Mercedes turned to break said bitch in half but was halted by the firm press of warm lips on her. The slight turn of her head brought his lips half on the corner of her mouth and half against the full pout of her bottom lip.

He hugged her extra hard for a minute and turned to head to Spanish like nothing happened. She spent English Lit trying to forget about how long it had been since she knew the comforting press of someone else that close.

Kurt Hummel had no idea that he was Mercedes Jones' second kiss but she was absolutely positive she was his first.

.

One Saturday her church hold a imixer/i for all the faith-loving like-minded teenagers of the town. Her parents force her into a purple dress that is a size and a half too small and watch her as she makes awkward conversation with boys in button down dress shirts and badly press khaki pants.

Matt is standing by the punch bowl and she's pretty sure he wants to be there even less than her. She spends most of the night throwing back glass after glass of watery fruit punch. She drinks it so fast she doesn't notice the sharp after-bite until it's too late.

Her parents leave her alone with Matt, who as her father proclaimed, is a fine upstanding man you can trust your daughter with.

Her dad is out the door five minutes before she has Matt's tongue in her mouth. The coat check room is empty and she thinks she isn't feeling everything she is supposed to feel. Her eyes are drawn to the shadows cast along the roof by the slowly spinning ceiling fan.

Matt pulls away in a huff, mumbling to himself about how he thought this would _fix _him. His lips leave behind the bitter taste she missed before. She isn't sure why but it tastes like betrayal.

Matt passes out on floor of the coat check and can hardly even remember his first name in the morning. During glee the following week, he smiles at her like he always had before.

She's the only one that knows about her third kiss.

.

Most people in Lima will tell you, if you haven't kissed Noah Puckerman, you haven't been kissed. That boy is famous for all the magical things she can't even begin to imagine. She knows what he's doing when he asks her out. The slight graze of his fingers up her arm as he does it is as far as she thinks he's going to go.

They spend the first few nights fighting over who was the master of _Call of Duty_. A war she won by pinning him to the floor and tickling him until he cried for mercy. The next couple nights are eaten away by Mercedes helping Puck pass his Math mid-term and Puck teaching Mercedes how to play the guitar.

The long elegant neck lies softly under her palm and she gets so lost in the steel strings sliding over her sensitive fingertips that she lets her sleeve slide up along her wrist. His breath slows the moment he sees them. The angry bruises stand out even on her dark skin. His long fingers cover over the hand print perfectly. They stay locked in a stare for a long time. She answers every one of Puck's unasked questions.

He kisses her fiercely. The heat that fills her has nothing to do with passion. They are frantic with each other. Lost in the knowledge that someone else knows what it's like too. She can't see any fresh marks but she knows the jagged white scar on his collarbone isn't from one of his cougars. Just like he knows that the fingerprint bruises aren't from someone making love to her so passionately they leave their mark on her skin. The body of the guitar stays wedged between them and it digs into the sensitive marks on her legs.

She falls asleep with her head on his chest and his lips pressed softly to the top of her head. When she wakes up, it's to the sound of her cell phone ringing in her bag.

That was the day Mercedes Jones found out her dad wasn't coming back. That was the day Noah Puckerman kissed away her tears of relief.

.

Finn's palms are sweaty and he rocks on the balls of his feet to displace the nervous energy. He'd overheard Kurt mention that Mercedes had the house to herself that night and she wanted to be left alone. The worried furrow of his brow make Finn worried too. Even he knew how much Mercedes hated being in the house alone.

Once when her mom had to spend the week in Columbus on business, Mercedes called crying every night just after midnight. Finn would listen in on their conversations, his hand pressed firmly over the mouthpiece. His angry, shuddered breaths would have sent Kurt into a frenzy. Instead he had to pretend he didn't know all the horrible things that kept Mercedes up at night or how he longed to be the one that she could find comfort in.

Friday is date night at the Hummel-Hudsons. His mom and Burt go to _Breadstix_. Kurt tries to pretend he isn't sneaking over to Puck's while Mrs. Puckerman works the night shift. It's easier than it should be to slip by them. He remembers where she lives from his days delivering the paper to her dad. The lawn looks like it hasn't been cut in months and Finn adds that to the list of things he's going to do to make Mercedes smile.

It's takes a long time for her to answer the door and Finn knows that if he was waiting for anyone else he would have left long before the door clicked open. Her hair is swept off to one side, leaving that wide expanse of her neck with a single tendril dancing softly against her jaw. Her robe is parted slightly and he can see the pink nightshirt she's wearing. It falls just above her knees and has a cartoon baby chick wearing a sideways purple camouflage army hat. When she silently motions for him to come inside he sees the words underneath. _Tough Chick_. As he follows her into the family room he can't help but smile.

She doesn't ask him why he's here. They sit in comfortable silence as _Project Runway _plays in the background. Finn honestly has no idea what the show is about. He's too busy watching the slow slide of the nightshirt inching up Mercedes' thighs. Too busy being transfixed by the long fingers that tug shyly on the edge of the cotton. To enthralled by the pink nail polish on every one of her perfect toes. Everything in him screams that he has to kiss her.

They are cleaning up the junk food from the coffee table and doing the dishes when it happens. She pushes the last few pieces of popcorn into her mouth as she flits around the kitchen. When she accidentally brings her teeth down over her bottom lip she gasps in surprise. Finn hears her whimper when a small drop of blood wells before she can lick it away.

He watches silently as she stops the bleeding with a tissue. When she's done you can hardly even notice the thin red line. But he does. He notices everything about her. She lets him back her into the corner where the two counters meet. His lips brush hers and her eyelashes flutter softly against her cheeks. Her eyes are slow to open but when she does she has to blink away her dreamy stare.

"Why did you do that?" Her whispers is the first thing either of them has said all night.

Finn leans down until his breath is playing over her lips with every word. "My new friend hurt her lip. So I kissed it all better like my mommy taught me."

Mercedes' eyes shoot open in shock before Finn swoops down for another kiss. He isn't as soft this time and Mercedes can feel her toes flexing against the cool kitchen floor. Thin tendrils of want curl in her stomach and race up her spine. She matches his intensity and pushes him back into the refrigerator door. The condiments rattle inside but she's too busy kissing Finn to care.

She pulls Finn upstairs and everything is fast until they walk into her room. Everything is pink and she can feel her cheeks rush to match. Everything in her knows what they are about to do.

His hands trace up her arms to push her robe down to pool at her ankles. Her fingers toy with the bottom on his shirt and her nails lightly graze his sides as she pulls the cotton over his head. Finn's fingers run softly over the smooth skin of her thighs. They find their way under the hem of her nightshirt. He hooks his index fingers on either side of the panties and lock eyes with her as her pulls them down her legs. He watches as she steps out of them and notices how quickly her chest is rising with every breath.

"Is this okay?" Finn whispers as his hand traces up the inside of the thigh.

Mercedes rests her head on his collarbone. "I've never done this before."

"I know. But is this okay?" His hand stops and he's so close to where he wants to be his fingers twitch against her skin.

Mercedes just nods against his chest and whimpers as his hand start to move again. One of his arms moves to wrap around her waist as the other finally reaches its destination. She is so wet already that sliding his finger along her is easy. The slick teasing slide makes her thrust her hips slightly and bury her face in his neck. When his thumb finds her clit her knees shake. Her head snaps up in surprise and her eyes are wide with unexpected pleasure. His thumb pick up an slow pace of circling as his middle finger teases her entrance. Her knees buckle when he slides his finger inside and he holds her tight against his body. His hard length is pressed against her side and his body is involuntarily matching the thrusts of his fingers. A craving rips through him and it's so intense that he knows he at least needs to try to make it happen.

"Can I... I mean... _fuck_... I have to taste you. Oh god...please?"

Her head is foggy with lust so she's not entirely sure what he's asking but right now he'd give him anything he'd asked for. When she says yes her bottom lip grazes the soft skin under his jaw and he shudders. She whimpers as he removes his hand from her and eases her to sit on the bed. His hands move to pull her nightshirt off but she tenses in a way he doesn't like. His hands drop down to her thighs again. He wants he to be comfortable but every inch of him wants her to be completely expose to him. For now, he lets himself be comforted by the fact her legs fall open to reveal herself to him.

He pulls the cotton up around her hips and his hands flatten against the inside of her thighs. She leans back on her hands to brace herself on the bed. She's reclined in a way that makes her look like an offering. He thrusts into the edge of her mattress as he kneels down.

He doesn't look at her as long as he wants to. He knows she's feeling a bit self-conscious but all he wants to do is stare at the way her pussy is clenching in anticipation. When he finds her clit, her taste explodes on his tongue. Her quiet moans bloom into throaty groans of pleasure. He laps at her like a man possessed. He uses all the tricks from the books Kurt gave him. He really thought Kurt was being mean when he gave him books about pleasing a woman and staving off his own orgasm. The way Mercedes' legs are shaking against his hands proves that Kurt was actually just being the most awesome brother in the history of the world.

Mercedes is shaking so hard that he actually has to struggle to keep her leg open. He's never been more turned on in his life. She thrusts wildly against his mouth and the smell of her is intoxicating. Her hand shoots down to land on his shoulder. He raises her eyes to meet hers but he doesn't stop the teasing slide of this tongue. He feels her tense. Her hand clenches on his shoulder for a moment before her fingers fan outs and her legs start to shake even more.

She mumbling things like, _baby, please_ and _fuckfuckfuck_. But when her body finally seizes above him he is overtaken by the thick rush of new wetness that it brings. His hands fall to her hips as he rides her thrusts. Her legs fall over his shoulders and her calves brush his back. The moment she finally comes undone he hears the most beautiful sounds he's ever heard.

Her head falls back and a throaty groan sounds like it's being ripped from her. _"Finn"_. She twitched wildly under him and he keeps moving his mouth on her until he feels her come again. Her hips pull away from him and he realizes it because she too sensitive. He pulls back and looks at her. She looks so beautiful. Her head is still thrown back and he can see the small bead of sweat that is tracing down her long neck. He can't stop himself. He pulls himself up to kiss her neck and she finally looks at him. Her pupils are blown and her lips look kiss-bitten. She is the sexiest thing Finn has ever seen.

She pulls herself up the bed a bit and he settles in between her splayed thighs. His jeans are painfully tight and she doesn't help matters much by rocking slightly against his bulge. Her heat sears him even through the thick denim and he buries his groan in her neck.

"Finn, I want you inside of me." Her pleasure-soaked voice send a thunderbolt of want through him.

"One condition... I want to see all of you."

Her eyebrows pull together for a minute and Finn wonders if he ruined it. She pulls back even further up the bed and rest against the pillows. Her hands move in slow motion as she pulls the nightshirt over her head. This time he can't stop himself from staring. She is all dark skin and curves. The sexiest thing he's ever seen. He pulls back to stand up by the bed. His hands fumble with his belt for long enough to make him feel embarrassed. He hesitates before letting his pants fall. He's standing in front of her in his boxer briefs and he knows that she can see everything she's doing to him.

For some reason, he can't look at her. He feels embarrassed and like he's not enough for her. Her tiny whine makes him look at her. Her knees are pulled up and she's running her fingers through her wetness. Her eyes are glazed with lust as they focus on his midsection and he feels a jolt of confidence. When he's finally completely naked in front of her, hand reaches out to him. He settles between her legs again and kisses her. This time he doesn't hold back. He puts everything into it and Mercedes matches him. Everything turns frantic and they can feel themselves lose control. She angles her hips so that his cock slides along her with ever thrust.

Her hand reaches down between them and curls around his dick. She guides him to her entrance and pulls away from their kiss. He is about to ask her if she's sure but he can't get the words out before she's thrusting down. She manages to pull him in and his small thrust of shock brings him in the rest of the way. She twitching around him and he's never felt anything more perfect.

He feels the moment her pain subsides and he pulls out slightly. When he thrusts her whole body shakes. They set a fast rhythm. They both know it can't last long. She's too tight and warm and everything he's always wanted. He's too big and right and _here_. She feels the third wave coming to crash over her. She brings her lips down just as she comes. She tightens even further around him and he thrusts once more before exploding. He comes in three thick spurts while she clenches around him.

When he eases himself out of her can already see her eyes drooping. He kisses her once before getting up to go to the bathroom. He cleans himself up and brings a warm wash cloth back with him. While he was gone she'd managed to pull her nightie back on and she was murmuring to herself.

He drags the warm wash cloth over her sensitive skin and feels himself get hard again as he watches his come slide out of her. She sighs contentedly when he eases her panties back up. He pulls his underwear on before pulling the blankets over both of them. When he lays beside her she curls into his chest and falls asleep almost instantly. He can't sleep for hours. He just stares up at the glow-in-the-dark constellations above his head and wonders how he got so lucky.

.

The next morning he wakes up to the sound of rushing water and someone singing. He recognizes the song right away. The door is open enough that he can sneak in without her noticing. She squeaks when he slides in behind her. She turns in his arms and backs him up into the opposite wall. She kisses him like she hasn't seen him in days.

"Finn, why did you come over last night?"

"I knew you were alone and well..."

"Oh right. The phone calls. You know I can't handle an empty house."

"You knew about me listening?"

"Of course I did. You weren't exactly very stealth about it. Besides I liked the idea of tell you my secrets."

Mercedes voice kind of trails off. He kisses her again.

He knows that certain people aren't going to like that their together. He knows that he's stupid enough to mess something as amazing as this up. He knows that she's way to good for him. He knows all this but he also knows that her in his arms is the best thing he's ever know. He just hugs her tighter and hopes she feels the same.

Finn Hudson was her first kiss. Her first sex. Her first love. If she has anything to say about it, he's going to be her last too.


End file.
